Crowdsourcing project launched in August 2017, where Thaiconsent opens a google form that allows an anonymous to submit their sex stories in the theme of "fair/unfair sex". We received 400+ stories by January 2019.
Selected stories will be handpicked by the project curator, send the story to volunteer artist for illustration making. Once the illustration is proved by the curator, it got published on the Facebook Page.
Story Example : I started crying after we made out.
“I have dated and had intimate relations with both guys and girls. One thing in common with both the sexes is the criticism. I moaned too loud, I talked too dirty, I was too fat, I was bad in bed. All the criticism led to me fearing sex, until I met my current boyfriend. With him it is different. He asks if I want it, respects my boundaries, makes me feel safe. Now I know that consent and talking about sex is important…”
To me, having sex or involving in a deep relationship is really mysterious. Combined with Thai social values that women have to be reserved, sexual desires become taboo. At first, I wanted to have sex with my partner and felt guilty simultaneously.
I have dated both sexes. Even though my current partner is a guy, I have had intercourse with girls and had fooled around with guys. What unsettled me every time is that my partners would always criticize what I did, whether I moaned too loud, or talked dirty. Or sometimes when they tried to insert something inside of me and asked if it felt good, forcing the feeling of pleasure on me when I actually felt nothing. Many times it was more painful than pleasurable. Many times I had to pretend to achieve orgasm.
However, the most scarring was when I was criticized during sex. I was afraid to make uncomfortable noises, or sometimes he or she would shame my appearance, that I was too fat, I had no makeup on, that I wasn’t good in bed. It might be my fault of not speaking up, but I admit that I was too numb to think of anything. I unconsciously became scared of having sex.
It was until my recent boyfriend. I was much closed at first. Even though I told him I was okay with sex before marriage, our culture’s norms haunted me. Finally one night I slept over at my boyfriend’s place. I thought to myself that tonight would be the night. I started crying when we were making out. I let go of all the steam I had, my fears and worries. I thought I would be scolded for sure, but what my boyfriend did was offer me to enjoy our bodies touching another. No penetration was necessary. He asked to perform oral sex on me, without asking anything back from me,
After that day, my setting of sexuality changed for the better. I am now happy about myself. I am not afraid to be myself while having sex. I feel affectionate skinship, so passionate that I couldn’t process anything else than making love, both of him and of myself.
Story by It’s not me
Illustration by NaNaaa
Q: What are the criteria for story selection?
A: I choose the story that could give new exposure to readers. I have only one rule.
Q: Do you edit the story? On what criteria?
A: I edit only the part that might recreate a new form of oppression. For example, if a story describes "I met a man, he was my type, tall and white with medium muscle. The (tall and white with medium muscle) part would not be presented as a beauty standard for men that also not relevant to the main message.
Q: I found this story represents a toxic way of thinking...
A: Sometimes I publish a toxic mindset of a person in a confusing state of self. But I will add a note that this person is doubting about his/her mind. Not every story are published as a role model. We want to portray human's mind, even it's on the process so the public could discuss and explore to their own experiences.
Q: This story seems not relevant to consent.
A: Lasted article we talk about BDSM from a submissive person's point of view. Yes, the topic was for BDSM, but in details, it shows a lot of respect and a clear border of consent between dom and sub. Some of the stories require its readers to read between the line.